Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize