I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
