The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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