I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
