His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize