every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
