Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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