wat bout pragnant strippers??
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
