Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
