i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Randomize
