You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i think i have two assholes
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
