we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
