Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
