there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
