we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
