I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
