just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
