So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
