Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
