New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
