Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
