I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I need to stop coming to work sober
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
