I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dear god my vagina.
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