You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
