I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
