I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize