If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
