I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
