honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
