i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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