Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
