why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
