Little spoons don't ask big questions
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
