I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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