Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
