Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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