yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Randomize
