Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
