Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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