I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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