did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize