who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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