I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
