Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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