I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
