Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize