Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
