No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
