i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
