I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
