Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize