I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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