In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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