It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize