Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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