i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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