Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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