Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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