Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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