we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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