She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
