I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
