Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
