he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
