Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
