I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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