I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
