I think I am morally bankrupt
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
