school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
