and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
