someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
