I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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