He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
